In my own family and among friends, I have begun admiring couples, including my own parents, who seem to lead their lives together, despite the bickering that is inevitable in a marriage. If there is a social event, they invariably go together; they plan holidays together; they visit people together.
In my generation, us women have rightfully sought---and got---the freedom we deserve. After marriage, we begin our lives as a couple, but slowly, as we discover that we don't agree on everything, we decide at some point, to 'agree to disagree'...that's when we begin to find friends and 'do our thing'. Go shopping by ourselves, go to a play or a concert with friends, I even go on trips on my own.
Yes, life's fun...definitely better than if one becomes a 'Gandhari' and does not do things one likes because the spouse does not like it. While I have enjoyed and still enjoy doing things on my own or with the children, I have suddenly begun to miss being a 'couple', and have begun envying others who have managed to continue being one, years and years after their marriage.
As they say, women are never satisfied with what they have. I now need to work on Vijay to get back to being the 'couple' we used to be. In the first years of our marriage, he even accompanied me to a Kathakali performance (did I hear someone say "poor Vijay!")!
Can couples who 'agree to disagree' once again 'agree to agree'? Or will this happen only when the children leave home?